Beyond Behaviour: The Power of Long Term Relationship Building & Relentlessness in Youth Work

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Youth work is about more than addressing immediate issues, it’s about partnering with young people to reshape their futures and, in turn, the broader social landscape. As Tilsen (2018) aptly puts it, the goal is to foster "spacious conversations" that create opportunities for growth and new identities for both youth and youth workers (134). Similarly, Young (2006) emphasises that relationships are at the heart of youth work: “Personal growth, development, learning about values are human tasks that can only be done within a relationship.” (63).

When I joined Solas Project’s Liberate youth work team fresh out of university, I carried with me not just academic knowledge but lived experience. Growing up, I faced challenges like school expulsion, the heartbreak and loss of companions due to suicide, and encounters with the justice system. Despite a supportive home, that most important thing for me during those years, was spending time with my ‘friends’, and hanging out in the estates. But this in turn evolved into altercations with Garda and numerous other challenges. In my new role, I was driven by the desire to become the kind of youth worker I once needed.

Two weeks into my position at Solas Project, I met an 11-year-old facing very unstable home circumstances, which understandably made school attendance the least of his priorities. Seeking connection, this young person had gravitated towards older teens that were involved in antisocial behaviour.

I learned early on that all behaviour has meaning, and it isn’t a reflection of a young person being ‘bad’, which society often labels them as, but instead can stem from systemic exclusion and a lack of community support. When basic needs go unmet, feelings of disconnection can manifest as disengagement or acting out.

At this vulnerable age, many lack awareness of risks, making them easy targets for further antisocial behaviour, truancy, and early grooming that often parallels involvement in the drug trade. Once involved and they begin earning money, their social currency increases along with the potential of entanglement in the justice system. If all behaviour has meaning, the thing to try to collaboratively understand is; what’s the meaning?

The Role of the Youth Worker

In youth work, flexibility is key. Each young person’s needs require a tailored approach that is guided by core principles and values of the role. In this instance, I identified my role as one of prevention, and my initial aim was to build trust with this young person through consistent, light-hearted and respectful interactions. There is no quick fix or overnight turnaround; relationships like these take time to grow. I hoped that by fostering trust, I could subtly guide this young person, and to an extent his older peer group, so that if things took a turn for the worse, there would be someone there to support them in navigating the challenges.

Despite my relentless encouragement, this young person wasn’t ready to get involved with traditional youth work group activities. Our interactions were limited to sporadic moments in the community during outreach. As his offending behaviour escalated, my focus shifted from one of prevention to intervention. I set out to steer him away from the justice system, aware that formal programmes like the Youth Diversion Project might not suit his needs. It was also during this time that I recognised a particular skillset infused with a relentlessness within myself for this type of work, possibly derived from my own lived experiences. I explored this with my manager, and with their support, I transitioned to the Rua team as a Youth Justice Worker.

A Pivotal Moment

Over time, the young person unfortunately became increasingly harder to reach and months went by where I didn’t encounter him. During this time he and his peer group were bordering serious offending behaviour, that culminated in arrests and criminal charges. Through a chance encounter with the Rua team during community outreach, I was able to reconnect with him. He was happy to see me and after we caught up I met with our referral committee to determine if he would be suitable for the Rua programme. Although the programme was designed for teens aged 15 and up, the increasing number of younger individuals facing serious charges made it clear that we needed to re-evaluate. Now, aged 12, he was one of our youngest participants, and our pre-established trust allowed me to re-engage with him seamlessly.

The relationship this young person and I had built previously helped me support him through court appearances, school challenges, and interactions with probation service and Gardaí. Alongside mentoring, I would introduce restorative practices to enable him to understand the impact of his attitudes and behaviour actions and to equip him with tools to counter negative influences, while balancing this with fun and engaging activities that had initially built his trust.

Transformative Experiences

The opportunity arose to participate with an overnight camping trip. It was one of the most engaging activities we did together which became a significant turning point. Away from his urban environment, the now 14 year old had the opportunity to immerse himself in the necessities of camping, such as setting up a tent from scratch, building and maintaining a campfire, cooking his own meals, and even standing under a waterfall. Experiences like these can be monumental for a young person growing up in a marginalised community, where opportunities to experience life outside their own environment are rare. These activities not only provided practical skills, but also opened up their imaginations to a world that they never thought existed. It had also contributed to his confidence and gave him a sense of accomplishment.

During quieter moments, like gathering firewood or cleaning the campsite; our deeper, meaningful conversations took place. Youth work theorist Kerry Young (2006) emphasises the necessity of an established relationship before having those rich conversations. Activities like these create the shared space needed for engaging dialogue and the opportunity for him to ask questions without feeling embarrassed or inadequate; feelings that might otherwise have been triggered at home.

We explored his ingrained prejudices, unpacking and challenging harmful perceptions and offensive language. This gave us the chance to talk about some of his insecurities about school, where he felt so far behind he wanted to drop out. Together, we explored his options, challenging his belief that his path was fixed. As Willis (1977) notes, societal conditioning often leads young people to unconsciously accept limited opportunities. Breaking this mindset is crucial to opening up new possibilities.

Long Term Impact

On the journey home, the young person sat up front, playing his music while we continued our reflective conversations. When prompted on the highlights of this experience; he paused for a moment; and was able to name feelings of pride in being able to take on tasks that were never presented for him before, and to overcome his initial fears of the camping trip. He mentioned feeling safe. These reflections underscored the growth in his self-esteem. The young person initiated the conversation as to whether he was the youngest person that I work with.

Separate to this young person, the wider team also observed growing trends of younger individuals, from age 12 and up, becoming involved in serious offending. This sparked discussions about expanding our programme to reach a younger demographic, allowing us to collaboratively uproot problematic behaviour before they become engrained and patterns of unhealthy social ties are harder to break.

Based on the experiences of the team to date, it is evident that youth work relationships initiated with young people at an earlier stage is key to creating lasting change. Without a strong connection between a youth worker and a young person, the core goals of youth work cannot be achieved. When a young person is developmentally ready, meaningful conversations that contribute to personal growth can occur. This demonstrates Rua’s commitment to making a meaningful impact; to meeting a young person where they are at and not leaving them there.

In this case, the elongated intervention aims to collaboratively transform a young person’s trajectory. By consistently building on the trust established early on in the young person’s development, when they are instinctively navigating the chaos of their circumstances, the youth worker is there: providing steady support through difficult moments, advocating when necessary, ensuring accountability and always prioritising the needs of the young person.

While challenges remain, the progress made through Rua’s approach has set this young person on a more positive path, sharing with him the pen to rewrite his own blueprint.

 

Bibliography:

Tilsen, Julie. Narrative Approaches to Youth Work: Conversational Skills for a Critical Practice. Routledge, 2018.

Willis, Paul E. Learning to Labour: How Working Class Kids Get Working Class Jobs. Saxon House, 1977 

Young, K. (2006). The Art of Youth Work. 2nd ed. Lyme Regis: Russell House Publishing.